It's August!!! AUGUST!!!
I cannot believe that it's been a good four months since I last posted anything! -SCREAM FACE-
The past four months have been a flurry of activity, although if you ask me, I will not be able to list down anything major that went down. It has definitely been an interesting year thus far. Ideas and opportunities that have not even crossed my mind before suddenly presented themselves to me. I am not sure what will happen down the road, because it will definitely not be easy, but it is something I know that I have to do.
Truth be told, I do feel like I am going into a different phase in my life. The crossing over, so to speak. I have always thought it will happen when I turn 30, but apparently in my case, it's happening now, a year later. I am still not very sure how I feel about it though. Some days, I still feel as lost as the fat thirteen-year-old girl with her rounded, gold rimmed spectacles and pony-tailed hair, stepping into her secondary school for the first time, feeling totally awkward and out of place.
But I am aware that I have come a long way since, and that such feelings are momentary lapses that will always happen because we can never deviate from who we truly are. Not saying that I still feel awkward and out of place, but that these feelings, the thirteen-year-old girl will always be a part of me. No matter what happens, no matter how many phases in life and crossing overs I have gone through, I still remember her the most because no one can ever forget that feeling of being so scared of where she was that she felt like she could pass out anytime from being so self-conscious and hating the very skin she was in.
But hey, I went on to survive four years in that school, and also much more difficult environments after that. So that is my rainbow lining. And on days when she comes back to me, I will embrace every single bit of that walk down memory lane because despite everything, she is a wonderful reminder for me to be humble, appreciative and thankful for what I have now.
The past four months have been a flurry of activity, although if you ask me, I will not be able to list down anything major that went down. It has definitely been an interesting year thus far. Ideas and opportunities that have not even crossed my mind before suddenly presented themselves to me. I am not sure what will happen down the road, because it will definitely not be easy, but it is something I know that I have to do.
Truth be told, I do feel like I am going into a different phase in my life. The crossing over, so to speak. I have always thought it will happen when I turn 30, but apparently in my case, it's happening now, a year later. I am still not very sure how I feel about it though. Some days, I still feel as lost as the fat thirteen-year-old girl with her rounded, gold rimmed spectacles and pony-tailed hair, stepping into her secondary school for the first time, feeling totally awkward and out of place.
But I am aware that I have come a long way since, and that such feelings are momentary lapses that will always happen because we can never deviate from who we truly are. Not saying that I still feel awkward and out of place, but that these feelings, the thirteen-year-old girl will always be a part of me. No matter what happens, no matter how many phases in life and crossing overs I have gone through, I still remember her the most because no one can ever forget that feeling of being so scared of where she was that she felt like she could pass out anytime from being so self-conscious and hating the very skin she was in.
But hey, I went on to survive four years in that school, and also much more difficult environments after that. So that is my rainbow lining. And on days when she comes back to me, I will embrace every single bit of that walk down memory lane because despite everything, she is a wonderful reminder for me to be humble, appreciative and thankful for what I have now.
posted by Keiia at 5:31 PM
