I do believe that I am more suited for liking a person without that person knowing. At least, I wouldn't be so miserable. I think there is something to be learnt from this. Being miserable because that person don't know you like him is different from feeling miserable because you made a person you like miserable. I think making him feel miserable just made me feel even worse.
And hence, I decided to just stop obsessing about it. For my own sake. I know I cannot do it immediately, but I am going to try. I know, I know, I have said it before, whatever shit about closure, yadas and all that crap. But I think I am really going to stick to it this time. I definitely have to do it.
Perhaps it's really just something I have to go through before I really discover what I want out of life. And for now, I think it's more than enough to have my family and friends around me, and to worry about other things (i.e. assignments, going to the U.S., my career, my goal to become the World's first 30-year-old BJN) instead of this.
And although this may seem strange, but I really feel sorry that I put him through all of this. I hope that the day when I can talk about it without attachments will come soon, and I can tell him that and we will make jokes and laugh about how silly the whole thing is.