With only half an hour or so left to my birthday, and my last night in Macau, I supposed I ought to share some of my thoughts. And I do have a lot of them, just that I am not sure that I have sorted them out enough to really make any sense out of them.
But it really feels right to me again.
The past two weeks, and the time leading up to it, is a memory that I will always remember. It had been a long period of struggle to realise what I really want and wondering why my life had gone so out of control that nothing I do seemed to be the right thing.
And all it took was two weeks, a two weeks full of contemplation, of trying to experience things differently, seeing things differently, to finally find a sort of resolution.
Two weeks may not be a long time, but when a person comes out of it feeling that something has finally changed, it means something to a lifetime.
I am not sure what is going to happen when I go back, but I know for sure I got what I really wanted out of this trip.
I am really glad I made this trip.
More often than not, we find ourselves stuck in a rut. Although we think about breaking that deadly routine that we hate, be it a bad habit, a job that just does not feel right, the lack of much needed changes, the lack of opportunities for changes.
We had become too afraid to do something to evoke a change, to just up and go do something. We keep to that safety zone and pray for things to happen our way.
But what if taking that first step means a difference to, not just the current situation, but possibly the rest of your life?
Who really knows?
But at least for now, I feel good about it for a change.
PS: I really feel like putting down this particular incident today to mark this trip. These really nice strangers at the Blackjack table who wished me when they realised that it was my birthday today. And the kinda cute table supervisor/manager/whatever who noticed it. All the well wishes from these strangers really made my day a little brighter.
PSS: Also, I must say a big thank you to Gou Gou who put me up during these two weeks, for "cheing" me around Macau, and for bringing me for my first ever OPULENT birthday lunch and for the cake we never got to cut properly.
PSSS: And of course, Miss Tong Kei Kei, who will always greet me with an enthusiastic "Meooooow" and always ask me "Hao chi ma?" at every meal. Xie xie ni, Miss Tong! Lei hai yak go hou yaaaaaam~~~