I Love You.

To be continued...

I Try.

As a kid, I had a lot of dreams.

Of how I want to be when I grow up, what I will be like, and a vision of the way my life turns out when I am no longer contained within the boundaries of childhood. I couldn't wait at the time, hoping that I can just "grow up" as soon as possible.

It is only now that I have finally reached this point of my life, my adulthood, that I realised that I had never been freer than I was when I was a child.

I missed those days.

Because then, although contained, at least I had a free imagination to fantasize about the future. Not knowing and not bearing any of the possible burdens that I may have now, I had hopes. At the very least, I was happy just thinking about it.

Now it seems like even the simplest things have to be carefully thought out. And the waiting game is now even more on than ever, as I have to take responsibilities for things that I used to take for granted because they had always been taken care of for me by my parents.

But although these responsibilities pushed back my desired possibilities, the ever wishful child in me still exists. Those dreams that I had as a child still lives within me. Except that now, they have been moved to a later part of my life. Postponed indefinitely, but definitely still a possibility.

For now, I shall just concentrate on slowly making my way there.

Kickpoooooooooooooooooo Zerooooooooooooooo

Hummph! All you kukus who said that I was dreaming when I said I drank Kickapoo Zero before, I GOT PROOF ALREADY HOR!


SEE! KICKAPOO ZERO!

Thanks to MiMa who kept a lookout for me after I told her my woes of no one beliving me that there is Kickapoo Zero. HA! TAKE THAT YOU NAYSAYERS! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Mumsie's the best~~~ Woot!

Wahahaha. I am so bohliao!

PS: Please ignore the stupid look on my face. The ZHONG DIAN is the KICKAPOO ZERO!

Why Not Anymore?

I never really understood the meaning of truly loving someone.

Is it the willingness to overlook every wrong just for a right?

Is it the willingness to hide every moment of sadness just because of that one minute of happiness?

Is it the willingness to sacrifice everything just to be with that person?

Are these little dues that will eventually bring you the great love that you have been searching all your life? Or simply actions that will eventually demean you into nothing but a fool?

Only time will tell.

But before that, hopefully, everything now is worth it.

It doesn't have to be who you want it to be now. But just keep the hope that whoever it will be, is better.

?

Sometimes I really don't understand why we make the choices we do in life.

There are some people whom you will give chances to time and time again. Despite being disappointed over and over every single time. While there are some who just want just one of that chance given freely to those that probably don't deserve it, but there is just an unexplainable reluctance stopping you from giving it.

I guess by not venturing out of my safety zone, which I am so comfortable in, I am hoping to protect myself and not risk any further damage.

But what if this so-called safety zone tears me up a little bit every single time I get disappointed?

I know that change is inevitable, but somehow, with every change happening to me, I feel the real me die a little bit each time. Whether the evolved me will somehow become a better, strong version of myself, or something else entirely is still something that I have no control over.

I don't know what I need anymore. Why does everything I want elude me? What's next? I don't know. Really.

Give me a break. Give me a chance. Give me the new lease of life.

That I so sorely seek.

I think by now, I really deserve it.

-_-

I am WONDER WOMAN

And Wonder Women do not inspire softness in people! WONDERFUL!

Somehow it bothered me that you are being the way you are. WONDER why?

Baaaah!

Hair's getting too long, fringe's getting unbearably so as well. Really want to get a haircut. But not sure if I want to go for a super short fringe, which most people say is too daring a style for me to pull off, or just get a trim. Long hair can be inexplicably boring at times. Not really someone who can get creative with my hairstyles, except maybe just a ponytail from time to time.

Sigh...

Even deciding a hairstyle takes me so long. Whatever has happened to the girl who just do whatever she wants and pisses into the wind? Okay, so I don't really piss into the wind, but I am not the kind to be so ninny winny about things. It's starting to get on my nerves.

Bah-hum-bah!

Sometimes I really feel like slapping myself. Wake up wake up wake up!

Boo.

Bad day. Lousy mood. Terrible blog entry.

I WANT A BREAK!

NOW!

MAKE IT HAPPEN!

"Sometimes it's just difficult for me to show that I care. Simply because I am not sure if I do."

Just This Once

It's been a while since I feel like I am really doing something I am meant to be doing. That sense of fulfilment is something that had not come by in a long time.

Let me take it with me.

*prays*