?

Sometimes I really don't understand why we make the choices we do in life.

There are some people whom you will give chances to time and time again. Despite being disappointed over and over every single time. While there are some who just want just one of that chance given freely to those that probably don't deserve it, but there is just an unexplainable reluctance stopping you from giving it.

I guess by not venturing out of my safety zone, which I am so comfortable in, I am hoping to protect myself and not risk any further damage.

But what if this so-called safety zone tears me up a little bit every single time I get disappointed?

I know that change is inevitable, but somehow, with every change happening to me, I feel the real me die a little bit each time. Whether the evolved me will somehow become a better, strong version of myself, or something else entirely is still something that I have no control over.

I don't know what I need anymore. Why does everything I want elude me? What's next? I don't know. Really.

Give me a break. Give me a chance. Give me the new lease of life.

That I so sorely seek.

I think by now, I really deserve it.