A Sleepless Night In SIN
Can't sleep again.
It's been a while since insomnia hit me, so I am not exactly sure what to do now.
Hence I decided to blog. And since I am sleepless right now, I shall blog a bit about my sleeping problems.
Well, not exactly problems, but what I classify as mild nuisances. Sleeping mild nuisances. Nothing I cannot live with.
I've always been the stay-up-late kind who can spend the entire night doing nothing particularly useful, and sleeping the day away. And since I am such a bum, there used to be months at a time when I was still a student, that I stayed up till 7 or 8 am in the morning, and slept till 3 or 4 pm every single day.
But while I can stay up really late, I never had problems falling asleep whenever I want to. It was always plop on the bed, shut the eyes and let the ZZZZZZZZZs do the talking. Up until about two years ago.
I was having some rather emotional problems at the time, and started to develop problems sleeping. And this was not just a case of staying up late and not wanting to sleep. It was having actual problems trying to even fall asleep.
Closing my eyes did not help because the mind was just so alert, with all sorts of crazy thoughts running amok. Sometimes tears would come out of my eyes, and I wasn't even sure if I was really crying or just really tired.
And when I eventually dozed off, I would usually jerk awake, as if there was some kind of karmic force reminding me that people with emotional problems should not be allowed to sleep. It's a crazy thought, but I really felt like something out there wanted me to feel every single ounce of my pain by not letting me have the oblivion of sleeping and dreaming of stuffs that would never happen.
It was damn fucking horrible.
An extremely tired person is never a healthy nor happy person. And a person like that could never properly work on her issues because it's really very frustrating to be so desperately in need of a good rest, yet not being able to properly do so. I could so identify with Christian Bale in The Machinist, but not as extreme, of course.
But as time heals all wounds, the problem started to become more manageable. I don't know when it started to happen, but I was just able to sleep more and sleep better with time, by keeping myself occupied with work and different activities that interests me.
I guess I got really lucky there. There are people who never manage to get out of their insomnia whirlpool, and simply got sucked deeper and deeper into the problem, suffering from the health hazards of insufficient sleep. Nowadays I hardly have problems sleeping, except from time to time when I sleep too much in the day or my mind is on a buzz due to whatever reason.
So I am guessing I can't sleep today because I took a nap at my desk in the office today (I am incorrigible, I know! New Year Resolution: stop taking naps in the office!), and on top of that, my brain is still buzzing from my BKK trip.
Such a wonderful place. I am rather sad to be back. Things cost double the price here. =[
It's been a while since insomnia hit me, so I am not exactly sure what to do now.
Hence I decided to blog. And since I am sleepless right now, I shall blog a bit about my sleeping problems.
Well, not exactly problems, but what I classify as mild nuisances. Sleeping mild nuisances. Nothing I cannot live with.
I've always been the stay-up-late kind who can spend the entire night doing nothing particularly useful, and sleeping the day away. And since I am such a bum, there used to be months at a time when I was still a student, that I stayed up till 7 or 8 am in the morning, and slept till 3 or 4 pm every single day.
But while I can stay up really late, I never had problems falling asleep whenever I want to. It was always plop on the bed, shut the eyes and let the ZZZZZZZZZs do the talking. Up until about two years ago.
I was having some rather emotional problems at the time, and started to develop problems sleeping. And this was not just a case of staying up late and not wanting to sleep. It was having actual problems trying to even fall asleep.
Closing my eyes did not help because the mind was just so alert, with all sorts of crazy thoughts running amok. Sometimes tears would come out of my eyes, and I wasn't even sure if I was really crying or just really tired.
And when I eventually dozed off, I would usually jerk awake, as if there was some kind of karmic force reminding me that people with emotional problems should not be allowed to sleep. It's a crazy thought, but I really felt like something out there wanted me to feel every single ounce of my pain by not letting me have the oblivion of sleeping and dreaming of stuffs that would never happen.
It was damn fucking horrible.
An extremely tired person is never a healthy nor happy person. And a person like that could never properly work on her issues because it's really very frustrating to be so desperately in need of a good rest, yet not being able to properly do so. I could so identify with Christian Bale in The Machinist, but not as extreme, of course.
But as time heals all wounds, the problem started to become more manageable. I don't know when it started to happen, but I was just able to sleep more and sleep better with time, by keeping myself occupied with work and different activities that interests me.
I guess I got really lucky there. There are people who never manage to get out of their insomnia whirlpool, and simply got sucked deeper and deeper into the problem, suffering from the health hazards of insufficient sleep. Nowadays I hardly have problems sleeping, except from time to time when I sleep too much in the day or my mind is on a buzz due to whatever reason.
So I am guessing I can't sleep today because I took a nap at my desk in the office today (I am incorrigible, I know! New Year Resolution: stop taking naps in the office!), and on top of that, my brain is still buzzing from my BKK trip.
Such a wonderful place. I am rather sad to be back. Things cost double the price here. =[
posted by Keiia at 1:26 AM
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