Friday, February 18, 2011

Thinking To Do

Feeling very blue today. Not exactly sure what is the definitive cause, but I know that it has to do with a few different issues at the same time.

One of which is my impending birthday next week and the sudden realisation that, even though I am inching precariously close to the big three o, I am not going exactly where I want to go in life.

I used to have all these aspirations and hopes of how life would be like at 30, and I don't think I am anywhere close and probably will not be in the next couple of years.

It is a very depressing thought.

I have always been trying to experience different things, and I think I have managed to have a mixture between the usual course, the off-beaten route as well as the unorthodox way while growing up. I went through primary school, secondary school and polytechnic like any kid in Singapore. But after that, I chose to go for two different private degrees just to see which one would suit me better. Then after graduation, instead of finding a related job, I went into a different field before quitting after six months to go overseas. And in a totally unexpected change, I landed in my current company doing what I am doing now, which is even more unrelated to what I studied than my first job.

It's like if my first job was a distant cousin, my current job would be of a different nationality all together.

Although my current job is comfortable for me, in terms of job scope and remuneration, but I just can't help but feel that I should be working hard to realise my dreams and not stay in my comfort zone just because it's easier.

Oh well, there is no quick fix or answer to this. I really have to sort it out in my own due time.

But hey, I met up with the girls from old Sistic, Zhen, Lydia and Dav, and we had such a great time chatting and laughing that I feel so much better already. Old friends catching up is so wonderful even though it seems to be taking place just once a year. But our persistence in meeting up for this AGM is something I find really commendable and treasure a lot.

Meet up soon, ladies!