Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Can I...

...really be that manipulative and hypocritical person who does not say what she really feels and just present an opinion that she knows for sure will be well-received, possibly resulting in being placed in a positive light yet feeling like a piece of crapshit because she knows that it is very, very wrong?

I don't know. I am thinking maybe I can be. If just to make life a little easier, a little simpler. It's tiring to have to pretend just to stay relevant. But maybe it's just so much easier than fighting against the current everyday just to hold on to a little bit of principle and conscience, then feeling like a broken, ragged doll at the end of the day every so often.

But I don't want to be that person. I would despise myself so much.

Reality of an adult is still something I find difficult to take in in entirety. Little wonder why I choose to immerse myself in everything remotely opposite of my own.