It's Friday!
I am constantly reminding myself to give credit where it's due, and not just let my dislike of a person cloud my judgement and blind me to that person's merits. After all, not everyone who is a pain in the ass is totally without strengths.
It is just difficult to admit that a person that causes me so much frustration and grief can actually have a good idea once in a while. It can be a struggle, but I am really doing my best to keep a positive mind.
Sometimes I confuse myself too. There is never a fixed point with me. I think I am rather easy-going, but I can also be annoyingly obstinate. People who likes me often tells me that they think I am nice and considerate, characteristics that I enjoy being especially for people I care about, but I can be extremely bitchy and malicious as well.
I think this is part of the reason why I am so frustrated and angry all the time. Cos I belong to this sub-group that can never properly be anything. Kinda like a second rate citizen.
One frivolous example I can think of is whenever people complain that they are fat. It can be really tricky. If they are a lot bigger than me, I cannot really commiserate because they would probably think I am trying to patronise them. And saying "no lar, you are not fat" is a BIG NO NO, because it would be an obvious lie. So I would usually end up looking awkward and uncomfortable because I don't know what to say, then try to change the subject which might also hurt feelings because it would be apparent that I am avoiding the issue. On the other hand, if the person is actually one of those crazy bitches who are actually 38kg and still think they are fat, I will feel like bitch-slapping them because they definitely don't understand what it's like to be fat.
Of course that said, I have reached a comfortable level of mutual understanding with my own fatness, so it is something that don't really make me that mad anymore. But that does not mean I don't get annoyed when skinny ass girls pinch their skin together and complain that they are fat. PUHLEESE! You don't need to lose weight, just maybe a better body moisturiser because that's skin sag! NOT FATS!
Sometimes I think people who put a lot of emphasis on other people's weight just do that to make themselves feel better. Especially women. What good does the comments "you seem to have put on weight" or "you are really pretty, you know? But you need to lose some weight..." do for any plus-size person? You think we don't have mirrors? We don't know we are fat? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we think you are an ugly dumbshit with no semblance of an intelligence whatsoever? How will you feel if we point at your chest and say "you are really pretty, you know? But you need to go for a boob job"?
Again I stress, I am not angry. Even if I am, I can be easily distracted. That's just my short my attention span is. Oh, my boss just walked past and said "double fuck you!" to someone in the corridor. Funny!
Hahah!
It is just difficult to admit that a person that causes me so much frustration and grief can actually have a good idea once in a while. It can be a struggle, but I am really doing my best to keep a positive mind.
Sometimes I confuse myself too. There is never a fixed point with me. I think I am rather easy-going, but I can also be annoyingly obstinate. People who likes me often tells me that they think I am nice and considerate, characteristics that I enjoy being especially for people I care about, but I can be extremely bitchy and malicious as well.
I think this is part of the reason why I am so frustrated and angry all the time. Cos I belong to this sub-group that can never properly be anything. Kinda like a second rate citizen.
One frivolous example I can think of is whenever people complain that they are fat. It can be really tricky. If they are a lot bigger than me, I cannot really commiserate because they would probably think I am trying to patronise them. And saying "no lar, you are not fat" is a BIG NO NO, because it would be an obvious lie. So I would usually end up looking awkward and uncomfortable because I don't know what to say, then try to change the subject which might also hurt feelings because it would be apparent that I am avoiding the issue. On the other hand, if the person is actually one of those crazy bitches who are actually 38kg and still think they are fat, I will feel like bitch-slapping them because they definitely don't understand what it's like to be fat.
Of course that said, I have reached a comfortable level of mutual understanding with my own fatness, so it is something that don't really make me that mad anymore. But that does not mean I don't get annoyed when skinny ass girls pinch their skin together and complain that they are fat. PUHLEESE! You don't need to lose weight, just maybe a better body moisturiser because that's skin sag! NOT FATS!
Sometimes I think people who put a lot of emphasis on other people's weight just do that to make themselves feel better. Especially women. What good does the comments "you seem to have put on weight" or "you are really pretty, you know? But you need to lose some weight..." do for any plus-size person? You think we don't have mirrors? We don't know we are fat? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we think you are an ugly dumbshit with no semblance of an intelligence whatsoever? How will you feel if we point at your chest and say "you are really pretty, you know? But you need to go for a boob job"?
Again I stress, I am not angry. Even if I am, I can be easily distracted. That's just my short my attention span is. Oh, my boss just walked past and said "double fuck you!" to someone in the corridor. Funny!
Hahah!
posted by Keiia at 10:35 AM
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