Everything In Moderation

I get so lazy to blog nowadays because I spend all my spare time on Facebook, or rather, refreshing Facebook just to see what anyone else is up to.

But I just spent the past five minutes pressing F5 and niente, so here I am to blog.

Recently, an interesting situation has presented itself to me, and I find myself rather bewildered by the turn of events.

So there is this super cute guy at work, who I have ogled admired on many occasions. He is the kind whom I would consider perfect great looks; tall, dark, handsome with the kind of chiselled-ness that comes with lots of hard work in the gym. Good for looking, but never would I ever think about being interested in because, come on let's face it, we are in utterly different leagues. Let's call him A.

And then there is this other guy who is more of my type, cute in a homely fashion and one who I feel very comfortable talking to and do not feel intimidated at all around. Let's call him B, and I am really kinda attracted to him.

Then, one day, during a girly conversation with the ladies at work, when asked who I think is the most good-looking guy in the office, my reply was A, because I really find that he is the most good-looking guy in the office.

Then suddenly, with little effort on my part, the situation suddenly became "Oh, Moreen likes A... Moreen is interested in A."

Subsequently on a particularly fateful night, at the office party, one of my dear "helpful" friends from work went to tell A, "There is someone who wants to know you better..."

Of course, I did not know that, and somehow let slipped while we were all sitting around the table that I knew his birthdate... And I think he knows that the "person who wants to know him better" is me.

He does not seem very happy about it...

Damn. It.

Okay, the whole story is rather complicated, so to cut it short, now, through maybe a little fault of my own, I am totally terrified of encountering him whenever I am in the office. My palms actually sweats when I even hear his voice. Don't ask me why. I guess it's my body's way of reacting to possible embarrassment and awkward situations. Which I hate.

On top of that, I am also being served with the daily coming and going reports of A. My helpful bees are even asking him about his likes and dislikes and then conveying them to me like some serious news of the day.

When I really rather be learning more about B.

And sad to say, I have tried to turn some of my private limited feminine charms on B, with no response whatsoever. If anything, during the party, he actually patted me on my shoulder with a super platonic smile and asked me to "keep in touch!".

You think that is good?

NO!

Sigh...

Why must he pat me on the shoulder? Can't he be like aiming for somewhere a little more in the "not-so-buddy-yet-still-respectful-but-with-adoration" zone? Like maybe the hand, or the wrist, or whatever place it is that men touch when they are interested in a girl...

Hmmm, I wonder what soup should I ask the LaoPeh to cook tomorrow.

Okay, I am being random again. But I think I would really rather mull over my dinner soup options than to try to read into the actions of men.

Of course, I am still hard-pressed in trying to convince my friends at work that I am REALLY not interested in A. He is simply too chiselled for me. I am worried that being around him too much will make me feel fat and ugly, and add on to the already low self-esteem and self-contempt issues that are bubbling deep down, deep deep down inside, threatening to bubble to the surface anytime!

And I applaud you if you have actually read till here. You are indeed a good friend.