Childhood Tale

When I was really young, probably seven or eight years old, two of my cousins came to visit and my Grandma was giving out red bean paste buns to all three of us.

My cousins got their buns first and were eating away happily. But when I wanted to take my bun, Grandma told me to close the front door before she would give it to me.

I felt that it was so unfair that my cousins get to eat their buns first without conditions, while I had to close the door first. I refused to do it and insisted that I wanted my bun first. Mayhem ensued and I was so mad at the unfairness that I started stamping my feet and burst into tears. The whole thing ended with my Grandma throwing the whole packet of buns out of the window, and me falling asleep in between my sobs of frustration and anger.

I was really so mad at my grandma and felt that she was really biased. She had no reason not to give me my bun first and I would have gladly closed the door for her if she had just given me the bun. The young me just could not understand the injustice of having to "work" for my bun while others gets it for nothing.

I am still like that now. Be fair to me and I will gladly do anything for you, maybe even more than you ask for. If any form of gratitude is due, I will definitely remember it and will try my best to repay you somehow. But shortchange me, whether tangibly or otherwise, then please don't expect too much from me. I will never forget it, and I will grudge you for it. And I will never, ever give 100% in whatever I do for you, unless I have a reason to.

Sometimes I do wish that I am a little more forgiving and easy-going, but that's just the way I am. Injustice and unfairness just bothers me so much then and it still does now.

Anyway, my little childhood tale ended with me waking up and finding a whole packet of red bean paste bun on the table in front of me. I had the whole packet to myself. Grandma bought another packet just for me after I fell asleep. I know she dotes on me a lot; I was definitely her favourite granddaughter because she practically raised me while my parents were busy working.

Years later, she told me that she was shocked by my response, she did not expect such an outburst from me. However as an elder, she could not back down after issuing an order, but she did feel bad for overreacting and making the whole situation worst. But she also said that I was too spoiled. Hehheh! Then we both laughed over it. Grandma is just awesome like that. She was always honest and definitely not the type to hold on to her pride and not admit her mistakes. She also took things easy and say it like it is.

I wish I am more like her.

Then I would not be so perturbed by whatever troubling me right now.