*scream*

I am going freaking nuts.

I can't stand this nervous, damn-it-if and damn-it-if-not feeling. I hate not knowing, hate waiting, hate being unsure, hate this fear that I may make the wrong decision.

Perhaps years later, this will become something so insignificant that I wouldn't even know what the fuss was all about. But now, right now, right at this very second of a moment, I am going absolutely freaking nuts.

This is probably as good as life is going to get, huh?