Nothing

I hate the world and the people in it today.

I am angry. I am so fucking angry. I have no where to channel this anger, and all the old residue anger is coming back to me as well.

All these people who keeps telling me to think differently, so that I can feel better. But why must I change myself so that others can stay the same? How is it fair that I have to constantly make do, and others do nothing but judge me behind my back?

I am supposed to feel lucky because I have a lot of things that others don't. But I also don't have some important things that everyone else have. Yet, I am supposed to go around with a grateful smile simply because I am lucky, while others get to whine and shit all around me, and I have to take it because good people should not complain?

Please, then just let me be a shitty person. Let me be the lousiest person around and shit all over your life. How about that? It always seems like the bad gets punished, and the trying-to-be-good ends up feeling like a dumbshit.

I hate that I care so much about all these things and all these people who just think I am judgmental and critical. And the people who tells me to be like this, and be like that. Yet they never even once considered that maybe they are not living up to my expectations as well?

The good are deemed as weak and gets trampled, while the strong are just horrible people waiting to reap the rewards from the remnants of the good people's trodden on spirits. Where is the fairness in all of this? Where is  the ultimate right and triumph over evil?

And I don't even know how to fix it. To make everything better.

I think above all, I am just really disappointed at my own weakness. I really hate myself right now.