A Morning Post From Queenstown
Sitting here at Yoniko's home work desk in the early morning, I cannot help but think of setting up a proper working desk at home too. I can probably place it right by my window, where the lighting can get really soft and comfortable at dawn and dusk, partly because of my wonderful curtains (yes, I love my curtains).
I can just imagine sitting there in the glow of the soft golden light, a nice cup of coffee or tea beside my hand, and just doing whatever it is that interests me online.
Just the thought of it relaxes me already.
Sometimes just thinking about the moments of simple pleasures in life can be a simple pleasure in itself.
I am not sure if it is all the workouts that I have been getting recently or the few extra yoga practices that I have been trying to cramp into my daily routine, but I am really feeling much more at peace and contented lately. I don't feel as angry or miserable as I was maybe like two or three months ago. It wasn't easy getting to this stage of self-contentment and, dare I say it, happiness. But now that I kinda feel that I am here, it feels oddly comforting yet confusing.
Because I don't seem to remember how I got here. At all.
Which is kinda disconcerting because if only I knew, then maybe I can get here easier and faster in the future when I become angry and miserable again.
Sigh.
Has happiness become something so fleeting to me that I am already worrying about the next time I lose it again?
Maybe it is really up to me hold on to it myself and not lose sight of it again.
The thing about me is that whenever things starts to go well for me, I get paranoid that somehow it will go the other way very soon. It is not because I am pessimistic, just that somehow I feel that good things don't last forever, just as bad things won't always stay bad.
Isn't that an optimistic thought?
So for now, while things are this good. I am beginning to worry again.
When I will lose it all again.
And while these thoughts plague me, I shall just sit here by the soft glow of the morning light, and dwell in whatever moments of simple pleasure that my mind can conjure up right now.
And relax.
I can just imagine sitting there in the glow of the soft golden light, a nice cup of coffee or tea beside my hand, and just doing whatever it is that interests me online.
Just the thought of it relaxes me already.
Sometimes just thinking about the moments of simple pleasures in life can be a simple pleasure in itself.
I am not sure if it is all the workouts that I have been getting recently or the few extra yoga practices that I have been trying to cramp into my daily routine, but I am really feeling much more at peace and contented lately. I don't feel as angry or miserable as I was maybe like two or three months ago. It wasn't easy getting to this stage of self-contentment and, dare I say it, happiness. But now that I kinda feel that I am here, it feels oddly comforting yet confusing.
Because I don't seem to remember how I got here. At all.
Which is kinda disconcerting because if only I knew, then maybe I can get here easier and faster in the future when I become angry and miserable again.
Sigh.
Has happiness become something so fleeting to me that I am already worrying about the next time I lose it again?
Maybe it is really up to me hold on to it myself and not lose sight of it again.
The thing about me is that whenever things starts to go well for me, I get paranoid that somehow it will go the other way very soon. It is not because I am pessimistic, just that somehow I feel that good things don't last forever, just as bad things won't always stay bad.
Isn't that an optimistic thought?
So for now, while things are this good. I am beginning to worry again.
When I will lose it all again.
And while these thoughts plague me, I shall just sit here by the soft glow of the morning light, and dwell in whatever moments of simple pleasure that my mind can conjure up right now.
And relax.
posted by Keiia at 8:40 AM
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