*Sounds Of Coughing And Sneezing*

In my influenza-ed state of mind, I rewatched Sex And The City, the movie, in the midst of coughing my lungs out and sneezing my nose off.

And felt incredibly optimistic.

I mean, look at Carrie Bradshaw; she had a string of relationships, both good and bad, and a ten year relationship with Mr Big, whom I too have a certain mixture of hate-him-but-love-him-more thing going on for. And although they went through so much crap, mostly thanks to Mr Big (I could never bring myself to call him John, he is just too "big" to be a John), eventually they still wound up exactly where they should be.

That is unless the script-writers decide to give Carrie another run for her money in the next movie or something.

And you have to admit, most men REALLY do behave like Mr Big. It's not even magnified or embellished in anyway. They are really LIKE THAT!

And I really wonder how people even get themselves married nowadays.

And that's where the idea of being optimistic comes in. At least for me, when it comes to love, I still am. Because ultimately, if I have to really look at the bottomline, I didn't really get it so bad. Yes, maybe there were certain feelings of lost, and I definitely felt jilted. But I never really got my heart broken.

Is it because nothing ever began?

Maybe.

But I am kinda glad that, and this was something I knew all along but just now learnt to appreciate, that nothing ever did. This way, I will be able to begin a real relationship the way I have always wanted to. Simply put, I can still be the shiny new penny that I have always wanted to be.

And this is probably something that I am thankful to he-who-has-made-me-feel-jilted (Haha!) for. For knowing well enough not to wreck my ideals of the perfect relationship. For knowing that we are simply not suited to go any distance as anything more than friends. For not really breaking my heart.

So, is this closure?

I don't know. All I know is that I am finally ready to move another step forward, as compared to being stagnant for the longest of time.

Like a good book, I guess, I am not ready to close it yet. We'll just have to wait and see where the next chapter is going to lead me to.

Okay, I have to get back to coughing my lungs out and sneezing my nose off. I wonder if I will have any vital organs left after this bout of flu.

Bah.

PS: I know some people are going to laugh at this cornily optimistic post. In my defense, all I have to say is, fark you! Yeah.