Certainty

The decision has been made.

I am going to submit my resignation tomorrow.

I cannot say there is no fear. In fact a lot of it and trepidation.

I am scared shitless.

I can just imagine the so many people who are going to call me stupid for doing this right now.

Maybe it is.

I just know I have to do it. I don't want to spend the next 10 or 20 years of of my life regretting it.

Who really knows what may happen from now on?

我不需要 Tiffany - 薛凱琪

你叫我更美麗 就算鑽石永遠買不起
只要懂得送我一首詩 和小玩意 我不需要 Tiffany

你叫我好神氣 就算皇冠永遠戴不起
只要覺得送我一輩子 珠光寶氣...

Homecoming!

I am home!

I managed to unpack some of my luggage, which is not a lot actually but I am just too lazy to sort out the clean clothes from the dirty ones that I haven't washed at Gou Gou's place. WANYU TIEN HAR~~~

Anyway, I realised that I have bought nothing much during this trip but MAKEUP AND SKINCARE PRODUCTS!

Seriously.

I have a new Benefit pressed powder, a Mac gel eyeliner, an unknown brand liquid eyeliner (recommended by Kei Kei), a set of Clinique 3-step system AND a travel set that comes with eye makeup remover and eye cream, their turnabout 15-minutes mask and a Borghese mud mask. I also got a free gift set from the DFS Macao promoter because I bought so much Clinique products, which contains a travel size cleanser, a moisture cream, another eye cream and a lip gloss.

And knowing how vain I have become, Gou Gou and Kei Kei gave me a Mary Kay mineral foundation powder, which I haven't tried but am sure it's good because I heard so much raves from Gou Gou and Kei Kei about Mary Kay's products.

Wah, so vain, so vain! But I likey~~~

I even cleared out all my old skincare and makeup products, wiped the space over before I introduced all my new loots into their new home.

Heeeheheeheheheeheheheheheeheheeheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Okay, I am getting demented from the lack of sleep.

Good night!

Happy Crossing The Treshold Of Mid 20s To Me... BOOHOOHOO!!!

With only half an hour or so left to my birthday, and my last night in Macau, I supposed I ought to share some of my thoughts. And I do have a lot of them, just that I am not sure that I have sorted them out enough to really make any sense out of them.

But it really feels right to me again.

The past two weeks, and the time leading up to it, is a memory that I will always remember. It had been a long period of struggle to realise what I really want and wondering why my life had gone so out of control that nothing I do seemed to be the right thing.

And all it took was two weeks, a two weeks full of contemplation, of trying to experience things differently, seeing things differently, to finally find a sort of resolution.

Two weeks may not be a long time, but when a person comes out of it feeling that something has finally changed, it means something to a lifetime.

I am not sure what is going to happen when I go back, but I know for sure I got what I really wanted out of this trip.

I am really glad I made this trip.

More often than not, we find ourselves stuck in a rut. Although we think about breaking that deadly routine that we hate, be it a bad habit, a job that just does not feel right, the lack of much needed changes, the lack of opportunities for changes.

We had become too afraid to do something to evoke a change, to just up and go do something. We keep to that safety zone and pray for things to happen our way.

But what if taking that first step means a difference to, not just the current situation, but possibly the rest of your life?

Who really knows?

But at least for now, I feel good about it for a change.

Happy Birthday.

PS: I really feel like putting down this particular incident today to mark this trip. These really nice strangers at the Blackjack table who wished me when they realised that it was my birthday today. And the kinda cute table supervisor/manager/whatever who noticed it. All the well wishes from these strangers really made my day a little brighter.

PSS: Also, I must say a big thank you to Gou Gou who put me up during these two weeks, for "cheing" me around Macau, and for bringing me for my first ever OPULENT birthday lunch and for the cake we never got to cut properly.

PSSS: And of course, Miss Tong Kei Kei, who will always greet me with an enthusiastic "Meooooow" and always ask me "Hao chi ma?" at every meal. Xie xie ni, Miss Tong! Lei hai yak go hou yaaaaaam~~~

Travel Log.Date

It's been a while!

It may be hard to believe but I really haven't been using the computer much for the past week or so, much less update my blog.

But old habits die hard and since now I finally get a bit of "down" time, it's lazing in front of the computer again.

Somehow the past two weeks had gone by in a whirl; ask me exactly what I have done and I probably wouldn't be able to give an accurate answer.

But it has been somewhat interesting.

Questioning if this is the kind of life that I really want?

I can really see myself doing this.

Decisions are in order! But it's probably not the right time yet, so I will have to shelf this idea for a while longer and see what happens.

Keep In View!

Whatever it is, I am glad that I made this trip. Perhaps maybe in a few months or so when things are different, I will be back here again. Or someplace else.

At least now I know exactly what I am looking for.

Anyway, scheduled flight on Tuesday.

I am coming home.

Will The Real Magician Please Stand Up?

Shaking my legs now and waiting for 3 am before I start getting ready.

My flight out is 6.05 am. Talk about EARLY.

Hopefully I will be back in no time.

Went to Yong-ge and Zhang-xiong's (they are not a gay couple, they are brothers aka The Lau Bros) place today to bai nian, followed by Yiting's house where her very nice Mum prepared a steamboat feast for us.

Watched Defiance about three quarters way at the Lau Bro's before the movie was suddenly stopped for reasons unknown to me. So I requested a switch to the less serious Mummy 3.

Defiance is really very good. Too bad I did not get to see the ending. Mummy 3 is seriously entertaining lar! Maybe because I am a big fan of the franchise.

Yiting's place was fun and noisy as usual, of course I contributed much of the noise. I even started playing with some of the toys meant for the baby her Mum is babysitting. Kids' toys nowadays are really interesting.

Anyway, I have a new intrigue! Liu Qian, that alarmingly girlish looking magician who is quite a hit in Taiwan right now. His magic is seriously making him very, very cool, albeit the fact that he has finer features and better skin than me.

Bleh.

And if anyone was watching Zhong Yi Da Ge Da just now, they would have caught another alarmingly girlish, but slightly more good-looking magician on the show. Now that is what I call a handsome guy. Got dimples somemore, I rike.

Okay, I am seriously very sleepy now.

Must... not... fall... asleep...

Have... to... catch... flight...

Zzzzz

I did something today that I have wanted to do for so long.

It feels very liberating.

I pushed all concerns aside and just acted on my instincts to do something that just popped into my head.

Too bad that it's not the exact thing that I would have preferred to do. It's more like a smaller replica of it. But it still felt good to indulge in it for a while.

Hopefully after it all, everything will be different.

PS: It's interesting how even in liberation, a typical Singaporean like me still ensures that there are not loose ends to be tied up. Bleh. Such responsibility.

When Is Enough, Enough?

When is it really time to throw in the towel and admit that nothing more can be done?

And it's not even for lack of trying.

The fact is that both parties tried. But they just did not get to wherever the other wishes to go.

Maybe it was not meant to be.

Maybe it's because they are not trying hard enough.

And when what is left is not even anger or sadness, but a sense of resignation.

Does it mean maybe it's all for the best?

Can it still be salvaged?

It's not even about who stands to lose more without the other.

Both of them will have lost something if it was to end like that.

But is there any other choice left when things have already gotten so ugly?

Is it possible to still find something good out of it after all?

Repost: Budlud.

Haha, BFF!!! This is the vid I was talking about. So funny this kiddo.

Budlud

Mid-Week Updates

Covering reception duties for the next 45 minute or so.

Phew.

Anything to get away from my desk. I am feeling drained just coming to work.

But there was good news yesterday. OH HAPPY DAY!!! Now if things could just get a little better, and life would be good.

Almost anyway.

I have afterwork activities everyday this week. I am so awesomely happening wor! But AHHH! I can just feel myself getting heavier with each bite of food that I eat.

Bleh.

Anyway, a record of activities this week...

Monday was a quick dinner at East Coast Lagoon with SPM because I had to pass him some stuffs before I met up with Gou Gou and Bao Bao. Gou Gou then drove us to this Irish pub at ECP for a short chillout session.

Gou Gou is going home today. Boohoohoo~~~

GOU GOU~~~ BON VOYAGE~~~ We will meet again in Ou Mun... For mah jeok, okaaaay~~~

Anyway, the Irish pub is really quite nice; if I stay in the East, I would probably go there, even on a weekday, more often. Should ask the Pinkietons to go sometime.

Tuesday was at Book Cafe again with SPM. We were supposed to have a discussion about something, but ended up crapping nonsense again. DUH. Anyway, I have heard about Book Cafe so many times, but only get to go there now.

Nice ambience, quiet and relaxing. It's more for if you like some place more toned down and comfy. We sat outside in the smoking area, but I took a quick peek inside, the sofas looked extremely cozy. I rike~~~

Moving on...

Tonight will be Essential Brew with Chris, Cindy and Lyn. I've been there before, so no surprise there.

Tomorrow is the long-awaited CNY dinner with Tan Men Men and the rest of my kakis at work. LOL. We are probably going to eat at Asian Kitchen.

And Friday is Pinkietons' yearly CNY reunion dinner. This year without Yun Yun and Nie Nie.

Phew. Even just reading through, I feel tired. Although I enjoy going out with my friends, but every day after work is a bit xiong sia. No wonder this week I so tired.

And not forgetting I still have visitations on Saturday as well as a probable Sunday dinner with The Friend who will be returning from the True Orient.

Oh my. I seriously need to rest up.

Silliness

疗兄！ 你要回来咯！！！

Hahahahaha!

Quote Of The Day

"If you think I am pretty now, wait till you see me when you are drunk."

Bahahaha!

I am so funny sometimes I cannot stand it. - self-loving, narssistic smile-

After Hours

I always feel so awake after coming home from clubbing.

Probably because by the time I remove my makeup and take a shower, I become extremely alert.

But too lazy to blog about my fun fun fun Saturday. Maybe tomorrow if I am not too tired after going on CNY rounds with the Pinkietons.

Yes I am still doing CNY visitations. Usually by now, most people are probably done. I even have house visits next weekend... Right up to the last few days of CNY.

I am so popular because I have so many friends! *proud*

Okay, I am almost ready to sleep, but here's a random thought:

What is the correct way to "dispose" of the red packets that you already emptied ($_$)

I realised that I still have red packets from last year, last last year, last last last year, so and so forth.

Bleh.

I am always not entirely sure what to do with them. They look too pretty throw, and I am not sure if you can reuse red packets, in case there are any unpleasant consequences like bad luck for the rest of the year or something. So I just keep them in my drawer where they would stay for eternity until I know what to do with them.

Oh noes! I DO NOT want a drawer over-brimming with red packets! I can just imagine opening the drawer ten years down the road and having all the red packets shoving their way out of the drawer. And WORST CASE! They would fall to the floor and I have to pick them up!

NOOOOOO, I AM TOOOO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING OF THE SORT!

Then eventually they will just fill up my entire room! And when I open my room door, they will surge out like a bloody wave of... erm...

Okay, I have GOT TO calm down.

Maybe I can make some CNY decorations with them next year or something?

Hmmm, suddenly feel that red packets are like one of those pretty but useless things in our lives. It has one purpose and one purpose only. And the highlight is not even the red packet itself but the contents ($_$).

Okay, suddenly feel sleepy. Must be all that dramatic fantasizing.

Off to snooze land.

Till next time.