Frustrations

I do not like living at the whims of others. I find this whole life-is-only-easy-if-powerful-people-are-happy business really shitty and unbearable. Especially when people abuses whatever authority they have just to make people feel bad about themselves. Never in my life have I ever attempted to abuse any form of advantage I might have to make other people feel like they are good for nothing. And I have always tried my best to conduct myself with reason and integrity. Although no one can claim to be a saint, I don't think I am a evil or vicious person at all.

And this world is definitely confusing me. I am not entirely sure how long I can go on pretending that I understand what the fuck is going on, without going totally crazy. When I try to be honest and speak my mind, people are always telling me not to be so direct and not to go against the flow too much, but when I keep my peace or try not to react to negativity, they ask me why I am not more angry at the situation or why I am keeping quiet and not fighting back.

What should I do? Seriously? So tell me, how in the world am I supposed to behave? I don't know. And I hate not knowing.

It is a goddamn bloody struggle. And I am not sure I can win.

There is only so much a human can take.