Nothing And Something

I was bored tonight and I started looking around for some random blogs to read.

And it was then that I realised how much my blog had changed in the short two years since I started it.

Content-wise. Somehow, it had managed to go from rather Englishy, with a bit of pompousness to rather Hokkieny, with almost the same amount of haolianess. And mix in a lot of insecure and irrational ramblings, tadah, my blog you get!

Not to say if I like or dislike the change. It's me and the way I have grown or "ungrown" throughout the months and years. I like to think that I am evolving as I go along, but somehow, it also seems like I am reverting back to certain behaviouristics (for lack of a better word, I have created this new word! It's mine!) of my childhood.

I was talking to a classmate about the flight seatings for our trip to US, and I mentioned that I am happy with the arrangements. And he replied back, saying that of course I am happy, because I have surrounded myself with all the people in class that I like, to which I agreed. Then he commented that I am behaving like a baby.

And I realised that maybe compared to a couple of years ago, when I was trying so hard to act like an adult, now, I seem to be making up for those lost years, because I think I do behave like a child at times.

I am saying that its a bad thing, because it's definitely not. I do miss being a teenager a lot. I miss my secondary school days when the only burdens I have was worrying about where to go after school and how to spend my weekends.

Sometimes I do wonder what it is in life really that motivates us to go the entire way, and not give up in the middle. Especially when it seems like the best times of our lives is right at the beginning, and passes us by so fast.

Not that I am suicidal or whatever, just a general wonderment. I am wondering a lot nowadays. I think it is a good sign. It means that maybe, just maybe, things are really back to normal now. =D