To Be... A Reason To Smile

It's been a while since I blogged at this hour. The witching hour where everything around me slows into nothingness, when my emotions become erratic, uncontrollable and overtakes all other senses. I took a deep breath and tried to search through these emotions to try to determine my state of mind.

I guess my problems never left me, I am still troubled by the same things that have been haunting me since a few months ago, but I guess I am better at dealing with them now. Except when I get into one of my rare drunken fits, as proven by last Saturday's embarrassing incident at Boiler Room, which fortunately I do not remember much of. But my friend Wanyee gave me a recap that makes me shudder just to think of. Did I really lose so much control to have done and said what I did? I do have a bruise the size of a small fist on my back, that I have no memory of receiving any form of pain for it to be there.

*shrugs*

I am 25 years old and troubled, I deserve to let go once in a while and be a total pissing drunkard.

But I really don't feel that torn up and devastated anymore. Maybe life is not a bed of roses for me right now, and probably will remain unchanged for a while. But at least I get to enjoy the little moments of happiness I can get from being around my dear friends, watching Ugly Betty over and over again, feeling inspired each time Betty saves the day, listening to a good song, reading a good book, and any triumphs, no matter how tiny, I can get every day.

Life is truly simpler if you try to focus on making the next minute worth smiling for, than the next five to ten years. Even if the minute after the next may be wrought with problems.

And that is just the way it is.