Thursday, January 06, 2011

Confessions Of An Angry Woman

Some friends commented a while ago that they think my blog is not insightful enough and also usually just contains all these comments that are sometimes not very nice and extremely critical. Sometimes even very angry and very bitchy. In short, it's not something that will appeal to the masses.

Now, do I really give off the aura of someone who wants the masses coming in here and poking about my business?

If all you really want are insights, then come talk to me personally. I can give you plenty. In fact, I can give you so much insight that you will rue the day you ever asked me for an insight. Because I will probably never stop giving you an insight. And I will also probably never stop talking.

Just don't expect my blog to be full of deep thoughts and meaningful feelings. Because my blog is pretty much the only place I can write a lot of the things that I am not at liberty to say in real life. Those sarcastic, snide thoughts that pop into my head all the time, which I have to hold back even though I find them extremely hilarious.

That's who I am. Or at least a large part of my brain is. A sarcastic, snide woman who likes to make harsh remarks and mean criticisms simply because I find it amusing to do so.

If I really say every single thing that comes to my mind in real life, I would probably have no friends. Not to say I am trying to be someone I am not. In fact I think my friends will probably tell you that I am too much into the being of who I am. So much so that they don't know what to make of me sometimes due to my brutally honest nature and my inability to mask my true thoughts and feelings. But that is also after I've learnt to tone it down a tad after years of being around people.

Honestly, I don't think I am a very nice person. I can be really mean and petty if someone or something really annoys me. Especially people who treats me like an idiot. Or people who tries to take advantage of other people. Or people who are stuck up. Or people who tortures little animals. Or people with no personal hygiene and no sense of personal space. Or stupid people who are lazy. Or lazy people who are stupid. Whichever way you fancy. And so many other things. Oh so many, many other things.

So it won't come as a surprise that I get angry very easily. Being angry is my thing. I have a mad bitchy attitude and would lose my temper over things that would not bother anyone else. If I am not angry, I am usually irritated and/or frustrated.

But then again, I am also easily distracted from my anger and usually never last more than a few hours before I am happily distracted by some frivolous and/or silly thing. Sometimes I even forget what I was so pissed off about in the first place.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. I am such a lovely bed of sunflowers, aren't I? All sunshine and joyful cheer.

When all is said and done, the thing that is really, truly surprising is that I still have friends. A bunch of solid, good people who also call me friend. Who rallies around me in times of need, accepts me for who I am, listen to all my rants, not take any of my shit, and always steer me in the right direction. Usually with a funny comment or joke. Exactly what I need to distract me.

And for these people, it's not difficult to be less angry, less bitchy, to be nice, to be more considerate, to be a better person. It just comes naturally and it's effortless.

I said this once today and I am going to say it again, on the record. I really don't know what I will do without my friends. Each and everyone of them is a blessing. And each and everyone of them are great people.

Because they are willing to be friends with this woman:

화난 ė—Žėž! Sho scarieeeeee!