Attention Seeking Or Cry For Help?

I have absolutely no idea what is wrong with me. I feel frustrated, moody, and this sort-of-but-not-really anger seething underneath somewhere.

And the irony is things are actually going pretty well, I guess. There is actually nothing that I can really nitpick or complain about.

I have this weird thought that this is just my brains's psychopathic way of making me feel something because I am just so damn bored right now.

Why do I feel this way? Again, I have no clue.

I am going out with friends, I have a spanking new mean machine which allows me to play games AND watch movies at the same time, even have music playing at the same time if I am that sick. And I have been reading quite a bit and planning my US trip. Seems like I should have no room to feel bored at all.

But I just do.

I wish I understand myself a little better at times.

Sometimes I feel like I am this together person who is satisfied and happy with the way her life is going, and other times I just feel like a fucked up, self-loathing loser, shitting her life and her dreams away.

This is messed up. Bets in, how long before I suffer a breakdown and start stabbing people. I will give you really good odds!

Hypothetically speaking, just hypothetically, if I am really so inclined, IF I am to go on a serial killing spree, I think I would be the kind who goes about looking for women who looks like me and annihilating them. I don't know. I like myself pretty much, but I hate being me too.

Go figure.

Is it time for me to start seeing a shrink yet?