Maybe

I think that sometimes this thing I can only describe as the "relationship dynamics" is something that you cannot really define, no matter how hard you try to place a tag on it.

It is like no matter how familiar this phrase is to you, and how much you have used it, you just don't realise what it really means until you have actually experienced it.

I thought that distance would be a good way of getting some perspective in regards to certain issues in my life right now. But apparently distance really does makes the heart grows fonder, if I may use a term like that, at least to me.

I feel that it is not necessary a bad thing. I am getting more of this sense of balance for myself, and I am beginning to see more of a positive than negative aspect of it. Maybe it's just being in another country, resting and relaxing, that I kinda feel less fretful. And of course, I can feel a bit of effort whether intentional or not.

However, sometimes just when you think that things are going well, and everything is really, well, just nice, something simple might just destroy the serenity that has been achieved. A simple ingenuous action or a casual passing remark. It can be anything that will become the catalyst that blows up with the lack of understanding, or rather the “you-thought-you-understood-but-you-thought-wrong”, you have of each other.

I guess the best thing would be to stop wondering where things will go, and to just go with the flow. Happiness is fleeting enough as it is, and to destroy whatever there is of it, would be pretty stupid.

I have tried a couple of times in the past few days to complete this entry, however, something always seemed to be missing. However, something happened to finally allow me to fill in the missing piece. And yet I feel this sense of apprehension attempting to snarl me. I just wish that the sense of ease and contentment that I felt in the past week will come back to me soon.