Thursday, February 14, 2008

A Valentine's Day Post

Happy Valentine's Day, you disgustingly happy couples! Continue to be happy and haolian bah! And to all other bitter and jealous singletons like me, HANG IN THERE!

Bahahaha.

Oh well, it is really not that bad, I guess. As long as I stay at home and not venture out into the scary world of couples flaunting their love.

When I was 16 and obsessed with the idea of having a boyfriend, I kept telling my friends that I HAVE to find a date before VDay that year. Of course, I did not managed to find one. It was a silly resolution in the first place, two months is an awfully short period of time for someone to fall ridiculously heads over heels for you.

In the years that followed, I slowly lost my fascination for being part of a two. I was alright with being single, and I actually enjoyed being single. While I never stopped searching for the perfect guy, I also felt no particular hurry to find a boyfriend. I trust that he will find me when I least expect it.

So now, a few years later, my friend ask me "Why do you like him so much? Are you that desperate for a boyfriend?" And I really thought about it. Am I really getting desperate? Is age catching up with me? Is the fact that most of my friends are happily attached beginning to taunt at me?

And my most honest answer is really no. I am not that desperate. In fact, if anything, he really caught me blind-sided. Talk about "least expect it" wor, be careful what you wish for peoeple!

Anyway, he really caught me at a time when I actually felt contented with my life. I never expected to feel so intensely for him at all. And from there, it just went into a downward spiral. It never fails to amaze me how unexpected life can turn out to be. I had never in my life thought I will like someone like him, and I had never in my life expected myself to be caught in a complicated situation like that.

If anyone ask me now, I will still say I am okay with being single, but I want to be single because I choose to be and not because someone doesn't want to be with me. Pathetic as it sounds, but if you think about it, at least it is honest and true. We cannot choose who we really fall for, and we can only hope that they can feel the same way about us back. But more often than not, they don't.

It's not really sad, it's just the way it is.

PS: Eeeeeeeee!!! The domestic assistant put brinjal in my lunch! Grrr, DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO FARKING LIKES TO EAT BRINJAL????!!????