Sometimes Even Getting A Good Night's Sleep Is Happiness

I was talking to a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, and she suddenly said:

"You don't seem as happy as you used to be."

I was caught off-guard by this comment. Afterall, we were gossiping and having a great time. And of course, I brush it off by making the usual over-enthusiastic, self-deprecatory, sarcastic remark of:

"Why would I not be happy? I am a bum! The most happening type of people in the world!"

She gave me a strange look and just replied:

"You just don't seem to have that spark anymore."

Although she changed the subject after that, and we went on to gossipping about other things, what she said had already got to me. I guess it is true what some people says, that sometimes when you get older and really grow up to see how life can really screw you up, it is difficult just trying to get through each day, much less be genuinely happy.

Don't get me wrong, I am contented with my life. I have more in my life than a lot of other people can wish for. But I guess everyone has something lacking in their lives that prevents them from being truly happy.

And I am no exception in the grand scheme of things. Which is kinda sad because I have always thought that I can be one of the lucky few who are really blessed with the ability to be happy no matter what happens.

Sometimes I really envy people who just have a simple outlook on life. They don't overthink, overcrave or overcomplicate anything. And these are the type of people who just live each day as it comes, and is happy most of the time.

I really want to be someone like that. But I know that I can't.

And that is life too. Sigh...