Hard-Hearted Bitch, She Is?
A guy friend said to me the other day that despite being the softer gender, women can be extremely hard-hearted creatures. When they made up their minds to give up on a relationship, nothing a guy can do will be able to bring her back.
This got me thinking, if that was true, why are there still so many broken hearts out there, most of them female? I am not saying that only men are heartbreakers and that all women are victims. It just seems to me that the odds of a guy dumping a girl and breaking her heart is so much higher than the vice versa.
And I came to the realisation that maybe my friend is right. Women are hard-hearted or what I like to think, for lack of a better word, stubborn. And it is right that once they make that decision to move on, nothing short of a miracle will be able to change their minds. However, it is also this very stubborness that makes a woman hold on to a relationship that is already broken, that is until they decided that enough is enough.
I have this friend, Sharon, who used to have this very verbally and mentally abusive boyfriend who is extremely controlling and constantly berates her. I remember once when she was out with us, and he wanted to come pick her up at 9 pm. We were planning to have a girls' night out, and told her to maybe ask him to come at a later time. Not only did the jerk refused, he purposely came at around 8.30, ignoring everyone present and simply just kept snapping at my friend to quickly get going right in front of us.
And Sharon was with this asshole for almost four years before she eventually left him, and the reason? Not because he treated her badly all this while, but because he cheated on her. I really wondered, and asked her too, why did she only waited until he utterly and totally crushed her spirit and her heart before she decided to move on?
Her answer was that despite all his flaws, she really loved him and wanted to make things work with him. She really did believed that he would change eventually, and that he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But the final straw was his infidelity, which was simply something that she could not forgive.
After the breakup, her ex apparently thought that he would be able to browbeat her into going back to him, kept calling her, sending her sms and msn messages, saying stuffs like "you won't be able to survive without me" and "without me you are nothing." And when that did not work, he resorted to a softer approach, sending flowers, showing up at her home and work place in tears, and even tried to get her friends, the ones whom he was so rude towards, to help get her back. But of course, by this time, nothing he do could change my friend's mind.
Although she did admit to me that while she was moved by his later, softer antics, however, as with all women who willingly take all kinds of shit in the name of love, a betrayal such as cheating is more than enough to break any resolve that we have to make a bad relationship work.
And it should be good to note that about a year after she broke up with him, she met the true love of her life and is happily engaged to him now with their HDB flat on its way. Now that is the kind of love story that every girl needs to hear and believe in.
Of course I am not saying that every story is the same, and I am not advocating that all women should be hard-hearted. But given the right or wrong circumstances, depending on how you see it, I guess that there is really nothing wrong with it, because it is sometimes neccessary in order to really find the real happiness that everyone deserves.
This got me thinking, if that was true, why are there still so many broken hearts out there, most of them female? I am not saying that only men are heartbreakers and that all women are victims. It just seems to me that the odds of a guy dumping a girl and breaking her heart is so much higher than the vice versa.
And I came to the realisation that maybe my friend is right. Women are hard-hearted or what I like to think, for lack of a better word, stubborn. And it is right that once they make that decision to move on, nothing short of a miracle will be able to change their minds. However, it is also this very stubborness that makes a woman hold on to a relationship that is already broken, that is until they decided that enough is enough.
I have this friend, Sharon, who used to have this very verbally and mentally abusive boyfriend who is extremely controlling and constantly berates her. I remember once when she was out with us, and he wanted to come pick her up at 9 pm. We were planning to have a girls' night out, and told her to maybe ask him to come at a later time. Not only did the jerk refused, he purposely came at around 8.30, ignoring everyone present and simply just kept snapping at my friend to quickly get going right in front of us.
And Sharon was with this asshole for almost four years before she eventually left him, and the reason? Not because he treated her badly all this while, but because he cheated on her. I really wondered, and asked her too, why did she only waited until he utterly and totally crushed her spirit and her heart before she decided to move on?
Her answer was that despite all his flaws, she really loved him and wanted to make things work with him. She really did believed that he would change eventually, and that he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. But the final straw was his infidelity, which was simply something that she could not forgive.
After the breakup, her ex apparently thought that he would be able to browbeat her into going back to him, kept calling her, sending her sms and msn messages, saying stuffs like "you won't be able to survive without me" and "without me you are nothing." And when that did not work, he resorted to a softer approach, sending flowers, showing up at her home and work place in tears, and even tried to get her friends, the ones whom he was so rude towards, to help get her back. But of course, by this time, nothing he do could change my friend's mind.
Although she did admit to me that while she was moved by his later, softer antics, however, as with all women who willingly take all kinds of shit in the name of love, a betrayal such as cheating is more than enough to break any resolve that we have to make a bad relationship work.
And it should be good to note that about a year after she broke up with him, she met the true love of her life and is happily engaged to him now with their HDB flat on its way. Now that is the kind of love story that every girl needs to hear and believe in.
Of course I am not saying that every story is the same, and I am not advocating that all women should be hard-hearted. But given the right or wrong circumstances, depending on how you see it, I guess that there is really nothing wrong with it, because it is sometimes neccessary in order to really find the real happiness that everyone deserves.
posted by Keiia at 2:08 AM
Back