Thursday, December 29, 2005

Oh, So It's Actually Fer-sard, Not Fa-said

This thing of blogging in Chinese is fun. Pity I can't do so in the office, which is where I am now. No worries though, I am still more comfortable with writing stuffs in English.

When writing in different languages, I realise that the frame of mind of writing is very different. For some reason, I seemed to be able to express deeper, and in certain sense, darker feelings in English, whereas when writing in Chinese, the tone is more light-hearted and cheerful. I have no idea why that is. Probably have something to do with the way I think stuffs. I tend to reflect in English and yaba nonsense in Chinese. Yes, I yaba in my own mind, hence when you sometimes see me laugh for no apparent reason, actually it is for a good apparent reason, albeit only to myself.

My Mum said something yesterday that made me think, she said that I seem to have different façades, and that the face everyone sees is just half of me. I think that it is an astute observation. No wonder people say that Mothers know best. Not saying that I am any less real than what anyone sees, but I am sure that everyone has a deeper, reflective side to them that people seldom see. I don’t know why I am the way I am though, could be a combination of being a Pisces, a left-hander, a blood type B and a single child. Lethal combination, I think.

I do believe that everyone has such a side in them, the deep, dark side. By dark, I don’t mean like evil or anything, just the inner part of a person that seldom comes out to see the Sun. However, the level of wickedness that lies within these dark thoughts will depend on each individual.

Personally, I don’t think that I am a very nice person; my thoughts can be quite mean and evil. But some of the other things that go through my mind are like a precipice that sweeps me into the depths. Like the sky, the sea, a beautiful myriad of colours, a poignant story, the translucent exquisiteness of life that makes you want to weep. A sheer drop.

Sharing a piece of my “other façade” here. I probably did not succeed in sharing it accurately, but people who have experienced it before should know what I am talking about.

Anyway, when I get home, it’s back to Chinese blogging!!! Light-hearted and cheerful! Sometimes I think that my Chinese blogging is downright saccharinely disgusting. -shrugs- I like it, so who cares.