Of Childhoods And Braggers

I am always hearing and reading about how bad childhood experiences can lead to traumatising effects in adulthood. Like for instance, in a lot of novels, usually the psychotic killers had abusive fathers, alcoholic mothers, and were horribly sexually abused by one and/or more adults of his immediate family.

Or you will hear a friend talking about a friend of a friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s aunt-twice-removed’s daughter, who had an abortion at sixteen (haha, I actually typed sexteen, but Microsoft actually corrected it for me), because her father is a raging gambler and heavy drug abuser, and would beat up her and the friend of a friend’s cousin’s boyfriend’s aunt-twice-removed, whenever he did not have money to gamble and/or buy drugs.

As you can see, such experiences about the "hardships" suffered in the early years can vary in so many different kinds of shape, sizes and style.

Personally, I am sick of hearing all these so-called "sob stories".

It seems like nowadays, most of the people out there think that having a bad childhood experience makes them better, cooler people. “Because of what I went through, I am what I am today.” And the stories got more and more ridiculous and some, downright stupid.

Puhhhhleeeeessse.

I don’t know what’s wrong with these people. I strongly believe that most people who had abusive childhoods, do not and will not want to talk about their experiences. Unless they really have to, and most certainly not with the intention of bragging.

Not really stating my own experiences as an example, because I wouldn’t dare to compare my almost very blissful childhood with anyone else’s, but just something more of a sharing of personal experience. When I was younger, I used to lie about my parents being together. I even had made up stories of family outings, and happy family gatherings.

That was until one day when I was in Primary Three, my form teacher, who taught me since I was in Primary One, and knew my family background quite well, took me aside and asked me, “Why do you lie about your parents?”

We then had a very long talk, and she told me that I should focus on the positive aspects of my situation. Even though they are not together, my parents were still very concerned of making sure that I have a complete family with two caring parents, and also making sure that I knew that I am not an unwanted product of a failed marriage.

She used a lot of very negative words on my situation, some of which I had tried to avoid thinking about, and some of which I did not even understood at that time, yet, somehow her words made me realised that I am actually so fortunate compared to a lot of other people.

It is something that I remember still until today. I don’t think what I am now was a product of that day, I don’t believe in instant turning points. I believe in gradually making a turn, discovering whether it’s a right or wrong turn. But whenever I feel that I am so sibei-suay-until-cannot-suay-anymore, I would try to focus on the good aspects.

Probably also why I hate it when people start to BRAG about how bad their childhood was. There are so many more people in the World who suffered so much more, and had suffered in silence for a long time. These are the people who truly deserve the bragging rights and the admiration.