I thought for a while before I decided to sent out this entry. Feels so stupid, yet I feel that it has to be done. Thoughts hidden in your mind cannot be read. Who will know what the hell is going on inside there? So there. If it seems stupid and crazy, it's fine. Get it off my chest. No one who doesn't knows anything can judge me, because they know shit. Now the waiting begins.

Feeling so down now. The song's appropriate. I never knew that my simple life can be so much complicated. Just want to get some stuffs that's been on my mind out. I know you will read this.

Why din't you say something? Does it mean that if it's a no, then it's nothing at all? Am I not your friend? You've been there for me before, can I at least do the same for you? You asked me before why I say sorry when I seemed bent on hurting you. But it's not something that I choose to do. I cannot make myself into what I am not. If I choose to do that, then I Won't be me anymore. Do you want someone who is not even herself?

My memories of what we used to be is something that I cannot stop regretting about. I know it's my fault to put you in such a position in the first place? I am sorry. I am so sorry. But I cannot make myself into what I am not. Sometimes, I really think that your life would have been so much different, if you haven't known me. Less hurt probably.

I really do care. I am not some heartless bitch who hurts people and laughs about it. I am your friend. Don't suffer alone, and let someone else share your burden for once. Not saying that it should be me, but at least let me be there for once. Like you have always done for me.

I am your friend. Regardless.

I don't need a clown, I don't need a teddy bear.
I don't need a standing ground.
But just for once, let me be all of these things.
Without all the other complications.
This is my offer.
Will you take it?