I am sad...
I am seriously beginning to think that all my friends are illusions. It seems like everything I try to organise something in the past two weeks, something seems to come up, and the whole thing just falls apart. Maybe it's Destiny's way of telling me that I am really alone in this World, and all the friends I have from the last ten years of my life are just figments of my imagination.
It's easy to think like that when I hardly see them or talk to them.
The last time I went out with my group, was last Friday. We met at 6 and almost everyone of them went home before 9. Everytime I try to ask any one of them to go out, they are busy or have someone else to meet, something else to do. Then I was trying to organise something today, and in the end, it was called off due to not enough participants.
Then the outing I was so looking forward to tomorrow with another group of friends, again, obstacles, obstacles, obstacles. And eventually, I called it off. It's like trying to use fragments of something to try to build another thing up. Maybe I am just a second-rate friend that people go out with when they are free, or don't have anything else better to do. It's probably my punishment for deciding years and years ago that friends are more important than family.
And another outing planned for this week is also called off because one of my friends think she actually prefers a free movie with her friend than to go out with us. We are not worth more than 9.50 tops.
Sigh. So disappointed. Despite the fact that I know I have some solid friends who I can trust no matter what happens, but if everyone takes for granted that the friendship will be strong forever without working at it, then eventually, we will all drift apart.
I don't remember the last time I actually went out with friends and enjoyed myself. Oh I do, it was more two weeks ago when we celebrated Shuen Lyn's birthday. Oh, that makes me feel so damn much better.
I am a sad, sad person. I care too much, don't I?
It's easy to think like that when I hardly see them or talk to them.
The last time I went out with my group, was last Friday. We met at 6 and almost everyone of them went home before 9. Everytime I try to ask any one of them to go out, they are busy or have someone else to meet, something else to do. Then I was trying to organise something today, and in the end, it was called off due to not enough participants.
Then the outing I was so looking forward to tomorrow with another group of friends, again, obstacles, obstacles, obstacles. And eventually, I called it off. It's like trying to use fragments of something to try to build another thing up. Maybe I am just a second-rate friend that people go out with when they are free, or don't have anything else better to do. It's probably my punishment for deciding years and years ago that friends are more important than family.
And another outing planned for this week is also called off because one of my friends think she actually prefers a free movie with her friend than to go out with us. We are not worth more than 9.50 tops.
Sigh. So disappointed. Despite the fact that I know I have some solid friends who I can trust no matter what happens, but if everyone takes for granted that the friendship will be strong forever without working at it, then eventually, we will all drift apart.
I don't remember the last time I actually went out with friends and enjoyed myself. Oh I do, it was more two weeks ago when we celebrated Shuen Lyn's birthday. Oh, that makes me feel so damn much better.
I am a sad, sad person. I care too much, don't I?
posted by Keiia at 10:05 PM
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