Today... Of All Days

After six years or so of, somewhat nonsensical, blogging, I don't know what to blog about.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Life needs to be more interesting. I need a longer trip. A long trip with lots of exploring and interesting new things to see, new people to meet.

Usually sullen and reticent around unfamiliar faces, I always turn into a cheery source of bright smiles and friendliness the moment I step onto a plane. Somewhat Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde-like.

I love this story. I have always been fascinated with stories that explores mankind's incessant need to seek triumphs over nature through, somewhat, unnatural means that usually result in conflicts between the very base blocks of human nature.

Good and Evil.

The mother of all grand historical events, the bread and butter of every riveting book, every money spewing blockbuster, and the spine that all religions are born from.

Good and Evil are the most everlasting symbols of balance around us. Neither good nor evil are singular standing, and the perpendicular existence of both is somehow closely intertwined with our survival.

*shrugs*

I have no idea how I come up with all those words man. It doesn't even make sense to me, reading back on it. Tsk.

I am watching Breaking Dawn tonight. More so for the fact that I am a fan of the books, rather than the movies.

Okay then. Looks about enough text to qualify as a blog post. So I stop.

Some stuffs that I need to let out, because some things you just can't say to people's face.

a) Why do you say things like "you don't know what you can ask for" in regards to something that　I have been doing for the past two years? Do YOU really know what you are talking about? Do I walk into your office and tell you how to do your job, and tell you that you don't know what you are doing?

b) Don't make suggestions if you are not prepared to do the work. Don't just shoot your mouth off, and expect others to do the heavy lifting. It's just plain irritating

c) Why do you always like to make an argument out of a discussion, and try to win? Do you really think that you are always right? There are thousands, millions of possibilities in this world. Please go read more then come back and argue.

d) You need to learn to keep your mouth shut.

e) Why do you always expect others to give in to you, when you have never been considerate about what other people want?

f) Stop whining to me about your problems if you are not willing to listen to mine. Self-centered much? I have problems too. I need people to listen to me too.

g) Can you just stop being such a pushover and let others take you for granted? People walk over you so much that you are starting to look like a Pakistani rug! Just stop!

h) Stop complaining! Do you know how lucky you are? There are so many people worst off than you, and THEY are not complaining so much!

Humanities

Watching, watching, watching...

As the world butchers my beloved language and actually thinks it is fine.

The artistry of a well-crafted sentence may soon be lost to us all.

It Only Takes A First Step

We all reach a point in our lives when life as it is becomes a thing of the past and changes starts happening.

An example of this is how the dynamics of a close-knitted group of friends slowly shifts, and friends became less important as a new life with your spouse becomes priority.

Slowly, we will start to see each other lesser and lesser. Then the group begins to become smaller and smaller. Eventually, we will become the kind of friends who only meet up a couple of times a year, and only during important occasions.

And as much as you try to remain involved with each others' lives, time just seemed to slip by, and before you know it, another year has gone by.

It is kind of sad, but it is a reality of life. We just have to keep the faith that true friendship never dies, regardless of how little we see each other or talk to each other.

True friendship is in the heart, unmeasurable by proximity or passage of time.

Maybe it's time I learn to take a step outside of this protective circle of my friends' way of life, and start finding one of my own. I can't live in the safety net of a domesticated life just because all my friends are there. It may be comfortable, it may feel safe, but it's not where I am meant to be right now.

Perhaps this is just the chance I need to finally achieve the dreams I've had since a long time ago.

A Dress Story

Another crazy speed diet begins for the week, in view of the impending gatecrashing festivities for Rachel aka Yoniko aka Yonisai aka Yoko aka Bulldog.

We have such imaginative nicknames.

Anyway, I have no illusions that a one-week diet can do any wonders. It's just a safety precaution so that I won't burst out of my bridesmaid dress made in February, worn once slightly more than two weeks ago.

Which was damn freaking tight.

I would really like to prevent my lady baubles from being exposed to the world. I am extremely conservative. Wardrobe malfunction of any size, shape or whatsoever is in no way acceptable for this old prude.

And below please see bridesmaid dress in question, which all members of Pinkies have. We are supposed to wear this in the day for all the Pinkies' weddings. It's something we decided to do so that we can save on the bridesmaid dresses and also eliminate the headache of what to find for so many girls to wear.

And also because we have this incessant need to standardise what we wear. How do you think we got stuck with the name Pink Army? We definitely did not come up with it ourselves, nor did we volunteered for it. We actually fought it nail, tooth and claw before we finally decided to embrace it.

Oh right, the dress.


See the fats just threatening to spill out of the dress? Seriously, I really need to be damn careful here. And yes, I am carrying a vase with the bride's bouquet in it.

And yes again, I do think I am kinda fetching here, hence the whole intention of posting this in the first place behind the somewhat false pretense of showing the dress.

I just think this is a fairly honest picture. I look kinda cute here, but my fats are not hidden by some camera trick.

And no, no one is allowed to make fat jokes about me, except for me, even though I explicitly called myself fat a lot of times in this post. I WILL bludgeon the next person who calls me fat. Jackass.

Rainy Day

What a lovely weather to be indoors.

I would LOVE to be in a cottage in the countryside somewhere. With trees all around, leaves catching the sound of the rain.

And a fireplace.

I will be curled up in a gigantic armchair in front of the warm glow of the fire, with a book. And some hot chocolate.

And music.

Sigh...

Need. Holiday. Desperately.

The Day Feels Like Ray LaMontagne...

Saw this comment in the second video, and it really strike a chord.

"I used to submerse myself in music - my life blood. I've wondered where that went."

So true. Music used to be everything to me. I was always telling people that music is my life. What happened? What happened? Apart from the fact that a lot of music are just rubbish noise nowadays, but I am sure there are still good music out there. I just lost that bone-deep yearning for it like when I was a kid.

I miss being a kid. I have said so in so many ways so often that I don't even feel that twinge of nostalgia anymore. It's as if missing what I used to be has become second nature that I don't realise it anymore.

I wonder what me from many years ago thinks of me from now. I wonder if she is proud of me. I wonder if I have let her down.

Young Moreen from many years ago, do you like old Moreen from now?

H, E Or M?

"Fact is, I can't stop thinking about you. And I don't know what to do about it."

And just like that, the seed has been planted.

Of perfect happiness and fulfillment.

Undefined

If there is anyone I really admire, and envy, it's those people who never gave up on their ambitions, and are constantly trying to achieve their aspirations and creating new ones. Especially those who kept doing so in their 40s, 50s, some even in their 60s.

And this brings forth a question I would probably never stop wondering about.

Is it really never too late to dream?

I, for one, have a crapload of fantasies of how my life should unfold. Be it my career or my way of living, I have never stop trying to concoct these elaborate scenarios of a perfect life in my mind.

Although I am nowhere near my ideals, I am not really complaining. I have always been pretty lucky in my choices as well as the opportunities that presented themselves to me thus far. So I have to agree that life is not bad at all and I can't really regret any of the decisions, right, wrong or unorthodox, I have made that led me up to this point.

Yet, I just can't help clinging to those mental concoctions of how I really see myself living and what I should be doing.

Which brings me back to the question.

Is it really never too late to dream?

The younger generation nowadays are a lucky bunch. They have more options to ponder over and as a lot of parents are becoming more open-minded, they are in a better position today to pursue their passions as a career option rather than just as a hobby or give it up altogether.

And some of these options may possibly give me the chance to move a step closer to achieving my own hopes and dreams, although they are technically not options created for me.

Do I dare take it?

A potentially life-changing step that most practical people would not take because it may involve a drastic overhaul in the current life that they are too comfortable with, or just too used to.

I am almost 30. The age of stability, in every sense of the word. Do I really want to risk that for a chance at realising everything that I could ever hope for?

Can I?

Avengers!

Gosh! I am so looking forward to this! Comic hero movies are always a favourite! Evans, Hemsworth, Downey Jr.! Potentially, my brain could melt during the movie. And is it just me, or is Chris Evans even bigger than he was in Captain America?! DAMN!

And have I mentioned that I am UTTERLY INSANELY JEALOUS OF SCARLETT JOHANSEN?

Yes I have. As I have declared on Jan 27th, 2010 at 9:21 PM and before that, Oct 27th, 2006 at 1.50 am, MAKE ME $#@%^@#*bleepbleepbleepbleepbleepbleep* SCARLETT!!!

Why in the world is that woman so freaking lucky???!?!?!?!!! She always get to act with actors that I either love, admire, and/or ogle at (do not judge, all humans have the right of ogle)! Almost every one of them!

With my luck, she will probably soon star in a movie where she get to have wild, crazy sex with Joe Manganiello. If that happens, I may have to go bang wall.

But Avengers! YEAH!

It's (Soon-To-Be) The Season To Be Jolly

Sleepless again!

I wonder why I get these bouts of insomnia, sometimes seemingly for no apparent reason.

Maybe I am kinda nervous about some stuffs happening in the near future. Not quite yet ready to talk about it, but soon perhaps. It's not bad news though. Sometimes good things can also give a person butterflies. Funny how the world is.

Been in good spirits for the past week or so. Really, really hope it lasts. Love the Christmas cheer that is slowly spreading through. Everyone else around me seems to be in a joyous mood as well. Simply adore this feeling. It's kinda like being in love, but not with a person, but with the current state of being, with life.

Times like this, cheesy as it may be, I feel happy and contented.

Werewolf, Manganiello-style

Me loving Drunk Legal Dude, it's ridonculous.

I wonder if he talks like that IRL.

One Of The Best Commercials I've Seen In A While...

Behind the scenes

I know I am not the only one who cannot stop watching the videos.