Thursday, June 29, 2006

Loneliness

Found this writeup about loneliness in Wikipedia. Although I think that it's quite funny someone actually bothers to do a writeup about something so common, Wiki IS an encyclopedia after all, it has to have everything.

And the short writeup seems to be rather on target. The person who write this obvious knows what he/she is talking about.

"Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation."

Been feeling down for a while now. One of my classmates commented that I seemed to be getting lazy when it comes to schoolwork. One of my friends said that I seemed to be less colourful than I used to be. Another friend said that I am more reluctant to "go out and play" nowadays. What's wrong with me?

Loneliness?

"Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected, and/or alienated from other people, so that it feels difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often feel empty or hollow inside."

I am not someone who likes to complain that I feel lonely or whatever. I am blessed with many friends, and will probably make more as I go on in life, and I am glad for that. But sometimes when everyone else is doing their stuffs, I realise that I tend to build my life around what other people does. That I have never really done something that I really want to do, that comes from within.

People study, I study. People play, I play. People watch movies, I watch movies. People sing, I sing. All the things that I did and am doing, how much of it is really what I want?

"People can experience loneliness for many reasons."

"All kinds of life events seem to be related to loneliness."


Don't get me wrong, I love doing all these stuffs and have tons of fun with my friends. But they are not things that makes me feel that I am doing something for myself. They are just fun things that I do to make myself feel happy. But they are just that. Fun. They are neither meaningful nor memorable. Nothing to mark my thoughts for the rest of my life.

"Paradoxically, loneliness frequently occurs in heavily populated cities; in these cities many people feel utterly alone and cut off, even when surrounded by thousands or even millions of other people."

I just feel so tired.

When I am lonely, I think of you. You are always by my side when I felt lonely. And then one day, I turn around and realised that you are gone. I tried to look for you, but I cannot find you. I don't know when you left. But you are long gone.